powerfist handjob

Play warhammer 40k

I have sweaty man sex with him/it.

now neither of us will be virgins

I use it as an all-purpose useful device.

Getting around? Sit on top of mahren. If it's chaos, horns are used to steer. Need to open a jar? It can remove the lid. Shopping? It incinerates old ladies who dodder.

OP's picture looks pretty BLOOM BLOOM BLOOM BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM.

>>3158255

Is it bad I heard that in the DoW space marines voice?

GO TO MARS!

>>3158235He kneels and swears unquestioning loyalty to you and only you.

FATE STAY 40k!!

MARINE, BERSERKER, WARLOCK, LOOTA

Will he kill me when loyalty goes away?

Or just vanish?

>>3158235
I get his help to find the emperor in our current day, and tell him, yeah horus is going to betreay you, and don't send leman russ after magnus, it won't end well.

>>3158321
His armor is nuclear fueled and will last longer than you will be alive.

Also he can eat dirt and be ok.

>>3158304

Menewhile, at the local Shinto Shrine...

"Tald..."

"Please master. You musn't speak my name where others may hear it."

"Forgive me, Caster. What do you see?"

Casually, the tall, dark haired woman tossed a few bits, not unlike dice, to the ground. They seemed to glow with an ethereal light as she gazed at them once they came to rest.

"Another Servant has been summoned. A brutish, powerful one. But it is clear that he is merely a mon-keigh, nothing to be overly concerned about, even if he is one of the Space Marines."

"I see. A space marine. Then he's not the one you seek?"

"No. But fret not master, for my scrying makes it clear that neither the Archer, nor the Assassin have yet been called forth. We still have a clear path to victory."

"Good. It seems as though your plan is working out perfectly."

The woman allowed herself a tiny smile. "I learned from the best..."

>>3158382
I am now required, by law, to post this image.

It's your fault, so don't blame me.

You wake up one day and find all hypothetical question based threads gone from /tg/ forever.
What do you do?

at 2pm, go to local mall and kill everyone he sees

realistically:i dont know what id do

"OIE YA GIT!"

who the hell are you?

"I BEGGINZ YOUR PARDONZ MASTA, I'M KILLBOY AND I'M HERE TO KRUMP DA OTHER GITS AND GET DA HOLEE DAKKA"

what the hell did you just say?

"Stoopid umee, speak orky!"

I'd go hunting for emo kids and say they worship Chaos.

Teach me all he knows.
Is this somehow the plot from the movie Terminator 2?

>>3158441
I can just imagine Archer as an Ork Flash Git

I live a couple blocks away from a convention center that host f-cons.

I KNOW WHAT I MUST DO.

First I tell him to hail Eris. Make him a real Chaos Marine.

Then I tell him to take on the Chinese. As in, whole Chinese military. No ideological reason, just to see how he goes.

Next Russia, next the U.S.

If he's been effective, I enter politics. As in, walk into the U.N. and say hi.

>>3158417
post in an empty board

>>3158441
>>3158382
>>3158449
THIS IS A GOOD IDEA, PLEASE GO ON.

>>3158382
So who's berserker? I cant help but imagine him as "METAL BOXES!!!!!" or "SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINDRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII".

>>3158455


well... would doomrider count as a berserker? He certainly seems to fit the bill.

Time to cleanse the unclean!

>>3158461
Doomrider would be Rider, naturally

I'm thinking Kharn as berserker?

>>3158441
>>3158449
I IZ THE BONE OF ME CHOPPA
SO AS I WAUUUUUUUUGGGHHHHHHHH
INFINITE DAKKA WORKZ

I would make him play american football and make millions...

>>3158471
My god, an ork with as much Dakka and choppa as he can imagine....

This... this is a way better version than the original.

>>3158471
damn I accidently posted that before I could get the other lines in.

I IZ DA BONE OF ME CHOPPA
ROCKKIN MY BODY, SCORCHA ME BLOOD
I HAVE CRUMPED A WHOLE LOTTA GITS
UNKNOWN TO LOSIN
NOR TO MUCKKIN ABOUT
HAVE SEEN DA PAINBOSS AND GOTTA A WHOLE BUNCH OF BITZ
BUT ME KLAWS HAV NUTHIN TO CRUSH
SO AS I WAUUUUUUUUGGGHHHHHHHH
INFINITE DAKKA WORKZ

>>3158483
oh and I'm not great at orky so if someone wishes please correct my orky grammar.

>>3158483
I like it!

>>3158461
The alternatives are Dennis leary, Tankred or Doom Guy.

I'm imagining Assassin silently stalking his target, waiting for the opportune moment.

Then he decides fuck it and 'WRRRYYYYYYYY!'

Shouldn't be Unlimi'ed Choppa Werks?

>>3158517

TWINS THEY WERE

>>3158483
Holy fuck, this is awesome/ I am now GORKAMORKA for Orky Rider.

Wait... would F/S Night 40K mean that some scrawny-ass kid's gonna get... the Empress?

In all honest?

I star in a buddycop adventure with my new 9 foot friend.

>>3158235
Source on OP's pic??

>>3158563
ORKY ARCHER
DOOMRIDER IS RIDER
CASTER IS TALDEER
FAKE ASSASSIN IS LIIVI
TRUE ASSASSIN IS WRYYYYYYYYYYYYY
BERSERKER IS KHARN
LANCER IS........fuck who knows
SABER IS VANCE MOTHERFUCKING STUBBS

>>3158582
probably unreal tournament model
that or dawn of war 2

>>3158563
Depends on what SEIBA's gonna be.
I say some kinda SoB. Not too sure on their lists.

Maybe Rider should be Uzzgob Rokkitranga?

Also Meanwhile, at a stately castle on the far side of town...

"Mistress, the summoning was a complete success."

"Of course. After all, it is MY servent."

The beast before her was unlike anything she'd ever seen. Its massive body was pure muscle, covered in impenetrable chitinous. Every inch of its body was covered in spikes, bone shards, and other natural weapons. Only its face, which seemed so completely unnatural next to the rest of its form, seemed to undermine the image of pure horror and might. Its glassy eyes shone with fear and confusion, its fangless mouth contorted into a deep frown.

"Its alright Berserker. No need to be afraid. I'm your friend."

Those last three words, "I'm your friend," echoed in the creature's small mind. Suddenly, the small girl before it was replaced in its sight by another, this one with short dark hair, ears with points, and a presence all around her that soothed and comforted.

As the image from its memory faded, and the girl in front of it remained, the creature's frown slowly turned to a smile, and it spoke a single word: "Unyuu?"

"Oh yes Berserker, I'm your friend." The small girl's smile went from sweet to ferel, "And we'll be making many more friends soon. I hope they like hugs as much as you do."

"UNYUUUUU!"

>>3158588
Lancer - Grey Knight Justicar?

>>3158588
Lancer = nameless Necron Lord

>>3158601
I like rider as doomrider it makes sense.
I like Killboy or Uzgob as archer so we get infinite dakk workz
I like taldeer as castor because that rightfag made it sound sexy.

after that who knows

>>3158601
It's been yonks since I watched F/S N (never played the game); but wasn't Saber King Arthur? Shirounius's getting a golden girlfriend...

>>3158631
yes.

berserker was hercules
castor was medea
rider was medusa
lancer was drunk

Lancer should be Prince Yriel

classy people

>>3158631

Going with the original theme of the thread, I would assume Saber would be a Space Marine, but to go with the story of F/SN, maybe she'd be some sort of Warrior Woman who had her mind transfered into a male body using black technology so she could then BECOME a Space Marine. By FSN's story conventions, she would be summoned in her true body, but have all the abilities the legends claim her to have due to people's belief in her, or some such thing.

>>3158641
Lancer was Cú Chulainn

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/C%C3%BAchulainn

"The first warp-spasm seized Cúchulainn, and made him into a monstrous thing, hideous and shapeless, unheard of. His shanks and his joints, every knuckle and angle and organ from head to foot, shook like a tree in the flood or a reed in the stream. His body made a furious twist inside his skin, so that his feet and shins switched to the rear and his heels and calves switched to the front... On his head the temple-sinews stretched to the nape of his neck, each mighty, immense, measureless knob as big as the head of a month-old child... he sucked one eye so deep into his head that a wild crane couldn't probe it onto his cheek out of the depths of his skull; the other eye fell out along his cheek. His mouth weirdly distorted: his cheek peeled back from his jaws until the gullet appeared, his lungs and his liver flapped in his mouth and throat, his lower jaw struck the upper a lion-killing blow, and fiery flakes large as a ram's fleece reached his mouth from his throat... The hair of his head twisted like the tange of a red thornbush stuck in a gap; if a royal apple tree with all its kingly fruit were shaken above him, scarce an apple would reach the ground but each would be spiked on a bristle of his hair as it stood up on his scalp with rage."

He wielded the Gaebolg, a barbed spear thrown with his foot.

>>3158650

A stylish badass who dislikes the prim and proper types, who seems bad at first, but a it turns out was actually honorable in the end. And has a cursed weapon.

THIS.

>>3158686
>>3158650
I like this, but I'd want to include the necrons in one way or another.

How about in part 2 avenger is a culexes?

>>3158666
SoB?
Holy saint?
Inquisitor?
So many other options, why make Saber a SMurf?

>>3158699

Necron Lord can be True Assassin's Master. Dude was a prick and half-mummy.

>>3158718

Just going with the original theme of the thread.

Also, I was actually thinking Black Templar. Emperor's champion for sword, AND ability to ride a motorbike.

DO TAU EVEN HAVE ANY CHARACTERS WHO ARE COOL ENOUGH TO USE AS A SERVANT?

>>3158686A stylish badass who dislikes the prim and

ADMIRAL TURNED SPACE PIRATE TURNED SAVIOR OF THE HOMELAND THAT EXILED HIM

>>3158732

Shadowsun. Thats it. She can be Rin, because SO TSUNDERE.

That other guy is a douche, don't bring him up.

>>3158732SERVANT

SHIELDDRONE!!

>>3158732
Tau could be gilgamesh, the force commandery guys have like 18billion guns on them anyways, more than enough to be the "KING OF SWORDS".

well I'm going to bed, I hope this thread stays alive for a day or two.

If this does catch on I'll write more crap for orky archer though I doubt I'll top my dakka works earlier.

>>3158604
OH JESUS KEEP THE UNYUUFEX AWAY BLARGH

I sell him to the government, you know how much money you could get for a quite litterally one man army?

Here's how I see it:

Saber = that female Black Templar idea
Archer = Ork
Rin = Shadowsun
Rider = Doomrider
Caster = Taldeer
Fake Assassin = LIVII
True Assassin = I think we decided Eversor,
Lancer = Yriel
Berserker = Unyuufex

Other characters to follow

>>3158763

Oh, I forgot:
Gilgamesh = Emperor's Children marine

"THE EMPEROR DESTROYED YOU!"
"YOU DESTROYED THE EMPEROR!"
*BEAMSPAM*

Loansharking.

Who wouldn't pay up if you sent Baldy McPowerarmor to collect?

Saber = Grey Knight = ExNemesisbur !

>>3158767

Gilgamesh= Archon

Play 40k then get him to fetch me a ice cream... truck... then after my ice cream is all gone we shall rule the WORLD WITH A GIANT POWER GLOVE... then play some more 40k on the backs of our newly enslaved population.

>>3158763
Shirou has to be Joe Guardsman

>>3158677
Somebody didn't get the joke.

>>3158797
You nearly stabbed me you drunk Irish fuck!

Menewhile, at a church where nothing evil could possibly be happening...

He could only look on as her blood pooled on the ground from the stump where the bastard had severed her hand. He turned, completely helpless, toward the man who had killed her, and imagined driving his spear through the monster's twisted heart. But he couldn't. Not as long as the stolen command seal remained.

"Now then, Lancer," the priest said at last, his voice so warm and friendly at first note, but hiding a deeper, oily tone beneath, "I will be your master for the remainder of this Grail War."

"Thats fine. Just keep in mind one thing. If you ever use up that third command seal... I'll kill you then and there."

The priest just smiled. "Your first task is to search out any Servant you can find. Observe them unseen as long as you can. If you are forced to fight, retreat immediately."

'What a coward. He was bold enough in killing her...' he thought, but out loud he said, "You're in charge mon keigh. Recon it is."

As he leapt from roof-top to rooftop, the Lancer servant looked up the stars, wishing he could be among them now. Wishing he could have shown the firey little human woman who'd summoned him those stars, and the wonders they hid.

For now, all he could do was fight... and wait.

Lancer is a necron lord.

>>3158863
I knew it was coming. I completely knew it...

So why do I still feel like crap...?

>>3158863
This is awesome, keep it up Anon!

After considering for a while, as great as Doomrider is, I think perhaps Shadowsun would be a better fit for Rider, as follows:

"FILTHY BITCH!" The echo of her master's strike across his sister's face seemed to echo for several moments.

"So, you went to see him again, did you? You slut. Did you imagine him doing naughty things to you? Did you imagine him touching you?"

"N...no brother. Of course not..."

"SHUT YOUR MOUTH!"

He struck her again, and again. Struck her not with his hand, but with that damned book.

That poor girl. The Rider had never suspected the humans, in all their horrid barbarism, were capable of what this family had done to her. The lengths they'd gone to in order to increase her psychic power. The rituals, the beasts, and worst of all, the psychological torment at the hands of this... thing that called itself her brother.

"Oh I know. You want his touch, don't you, dear sister? Well isn't that a shame. You're soiled. Wretched. No one will ever touch you. No one but ME."

>>3158947
Wincest?

She watched as her master threw his sister to the bed. She watched as he removed her garments. She watched...

She should have put a round through his heart the minute she'd seen him. She could see a blackness in his eyes not even the Greater Good could cure. But it was too late now. He had used his control over his sister to take the command seal by force. Rider was his servant now. And his poor sister was unprotected.

As he finished with her, Rider's master cast his glare her way. "Rider, you wouldn't be looking down on your master, would you?"

She remained silent.

"All you whores are the same. Don't worry." he picked up a book, and tore out a chunk of pages that immediately vanished into dust. "I'll teach you your place! Remove your cloths and submit to my will!"

The absolute power of the command seal gripped Rider's mind. "Yes, my master." As she lay upon the bed next to the sobbing girl and removed her armor, Rider dreamed of what she would do when the last command seal was gone from that book.

For the greater good of all living creatures, she would wipe this beast from the universe.

>>3158952
cannon wincest

>>3158947
>>3158958
Shinji you massive faggot. I didn't fucking like you in FS/N and I damn well won't like you in Fate Stay GRIMDARK.

>>3158960
sorry, cannon incest, because Shinji's a massive bastard

But I can imagine Doomrider bursting through a portal and running down Shinji with his bike. Which'd be awesome

>>3158972

Yeah, but it'd be a lot less tragic and grim.

.....ugh, this thread sure went downhill.

>>3158972
>But I can imagine Doomrider bursting through a portal and running down Shinji with his bike. Which'd be awesome
DO IT

>>3158979
If I could draw, I would!

and Unyuufex for Beserker? YOU GONNA GET HUGGED

I order him to destroy everyone in Sydney.

>>3158988
Why Sydney? Just because those bastards have a bridge and a opera house...

no, wait...

Because it is filled with latte swilling yuppie scum.

>>3158981
I want to see the new Shinji death scene.

Gilgamesh would be the younger Emperor himself.
With his golden armor, long monologues and tons of power levels.

HAWT GAY SEXIN

>>3158235
Tell him to kill himself for heresy if he's a Marine. His loyalty should be only to the God Emperor.

If its a Chaos Marine, I go clubbing and pick up bitches.

We travel the world together righting wrongs. And by righting wrongs I mean liberating lots of booze and not doing much else. We'll hit some clubs.

I'd prefer having Fabius Bile appearing.
Two things can happen.

Or I turn into a ravenous monster and I start killing, or I turn into an intelligent monster and I start killing.
Fun either way.

WE GHOST RIDE THE LANDRAIDER!

he whould be by best friend forever!

also Space marine mod for Unreal turny looks sweet

>>3159102
>>3159111
>>3158270
Fuck Year
Also, Power Bro Fist

Well, if we get to pick the Chapter, we get DRUNK AS FUCK and sing the songs of the Sons Of Russ.
Sure, I die of alcohol poisoning before the first mug is emptied, but it'll be AWESOME.

>>3159111
I've got that skinpack for UT04. Looks awesome. Works even better with this DoW voicepack I found.

"Huh?"
"I WILL SERVE YOU AS I DO HUMANITY!"
"Ow, booming voice. Okay then... What does that entail?"
"COMMAND ME"
"Ow, 'kay hoist me up onto your shoulders, we have places to go"

Karn could work better as berserker.
Reason being that Karn was resurected in canon. Though I suppose Nyu's regen could also serve the same purpose.

I let my Iron warrior friend...
1.Fortify my garage
2.If he is tech marine, then I have him upgrade me.
3.If he is infected with Obliterator virus in any stage, I let him infect me.

>>3159122
I lol'd!

>>3159119
sweet I might have to go find it

>>3159122
And rule Bartertown?

>>3159147
The voicepack, skinpack, or both? gimmie a few minutes and I'll track em' down for ya

>>3159158
http://unrealtournament2004.filefront.com/file/WarHammer_40000_Players_Models_Pack;89096
There's the models. Contains both Imperial and Chaos mahreens

http://unrealtournament2004.filefront.com/file/W40K_Spacemarines_Voice_Pack_manual_instal;91431
and here's the imperial dow spess mahreen voices. Have fun Anon

I like this idea better then brighthammer

I wish it was a Sister of Battle instead.

>>3158268
OBLIVION WITH A C&C INTERFACE