Love... love can bloom.

4 lines of coke and then jump out the window and aim for something soft.

She's on the second floor.

Some guy jumped out the second floor window. I think he broke his leg, but he was trying to crawl away.

She came out after him and impaled him on a fire hydrant.

Then she ripped off his head, threw it back into the building, and jumped in the window.

I'm headed to the roof.

You can take her.

Don't worry, she doesn't look so tough.

Seduce her. The power of love is stronger than any chemical-induced frenzy could ever hope to be.

LOVE CAN BLOOM ON THIS BATTLEFIELD

>She came out after him and impaled him on a fire hydrant.

JESUS CHRIST

>>3095348
Are you an eldar male?

>>3095441

Ignore him, you have no chance.

Masturbate furiously, as it is the only love you will ever know.

HASTUR HASTUR HASTUR

Call S.T.A.R.S. They won't expect that.

The pleasures of thy self by far surpass the pleasures of the female form. You have lived a good life, may your death be prolonged and painful.

>>3095444
>>3095449
My thoughts exactly, on both counts.

>>3095485
Remember this as the assassin finds you doubled over, trousers round your ankles and somehow fatally impales you on your own dong.

>>3095524
GUTFUCK GUTFUCK GUTFUCK

There are three possible ways out of this.

1. Start litanies to the Emperor as loudly as you fucking can as far away from any possible entrance she can find. If you're AMAZINGLY lucky she'll think you aren't a target. But that's a very very slim chance.

2. Sacrifice everything and everyone you can reach to the Deep Ones. If they are paying attention they might decide to save you. More likely they'll laugh as your silly human ass gets killed.

3. Kill yourself before she kills you.

>>3095549
It's AWWWWRI-NGGGHHHHGNHN

Fap and hold it in until she gets to your room. When she comes into your apartment room. Bust a load all over her face. You're fucked regardless, but this way to get to get closer to love.

I'm huddled beside an air conditioner, on the roof, with my laptop.

Why aren't there any sirens?

Someone's crying, down below me. Just wailing like a baby.

There was a crash... I think she tore through a wall.

Someone was growing roses up here. There are pots... they weren't doing too well, the petals were falling off. They're all over the roof.

I'm sitting here on the roof, squatting on withered rose petals, and someone is coming to kill me god I don't even know why I didn't do anything I'm only 23 and I'm going to die.

The sun's going down. It's very beautiful.

>>3095580
As the man crouches and gets ready to blow his load, the Eversor kool-aids through the wall and beheads him.

WRYYYYYYYY

Remember your training? It's not THE WORLD, it's ZA WARUDO!

>>3095601
>Someone was growing roses up here. There are pots... they weren't doing too well, the petals were falling off. They're all over the roof.

Looks like someone fails at

BEING PRETTY~

>>3095370
>10 lines of coke then ride your bike out the window.

NA NA NA NA NA

>>3095601
Jump off the roof as she comes out the entrance. Try and aim for an electrical line and shimmy out of harm's way.

Seriously. It won't shock you, the same way it doesn't shock small birds. If you're still scared of the electricity, tear the sleeves off your shirt and bind your hands with them.

1) Start climbing down the fire escape as she climbs up to the roof. Remain unseen, of course.

or

2) Trace on and strengthen those flower pots. You don't need to beat her, just defend yourself long enough to escape to your shed.

or

3) Compliment her and make an advance. Get your superbly detailed Eversor cosplay and seduce her confused-but-aroused ass. Love can bloom.

<--- This is in the street below where I was going to jump. She's nearly at the roof now. What do I do /tg/?

>>3095689
feign death. Pretend to have killed yourself.

You won't be killed by her. You're safe from her. Now you must prepare to die as they destroy the building.

>>3095601
Move and shoot, you fool! Move and shoot!

>>3095689
Use maximized psyker powers and hope you open a new eye of terror right here right now

>>3095707
>>feign death. Pretend to have killed yourself.

>>You won't be killed by her. You're safe from her. >>Now you must prepare to die as they exterminatus the planet.

Fixed.

You just need to speak the safeword, and she'll stop slaughtering everyone and become as harmless as a puppy. What? You want to know what the word is? Well, that...

Is a secret.

>>3095632
BEST END

also am I the only one who thinks this would make an awesome CHOOSE YOUR DESTINY type thing like those old goosebumps novels or a vn

>>3095689
See: >>3095642

Seriously. Run from rooftop to rooftop using powerlines to get between.

DONT THINK I CANT SEE YOU ON THAT ROOF YOU FUCKING PUSSYSHIT!!

>>3095712
right here
right now

>>3095689 (Not me)

The neighbor girl just died.

I never got up the nerve to ask her name, but she came up the staircase panting and holding the stump of her left arm. She looked right at me. Then she ran to the edge and jumped. We're 6 floors up.

When she looked at me, she looked sorry. Like she was apologizing.

I can't go out like that. I won't. Thanks, /tg/, you gave me an idea.

Leyline Project Command: It was you who broke my mason plate.

>>3095766

Not you? Dude, you should thank that other guy for letting you know that there is an Angry Marine outside. While you are at it, you should team up.

>>3095766
ARE YOU GOING TO FIGHT IT?
ARE YOU GOING TO PRAY TO THE DARK GODS?

GOODDAMNIT
YOU COOKED YOUR DICE REMMEBER!!
ROLL YOUR GODDAMN SIXXES WHILE SCREAMING FOR THE EMPEROR

HOUSE RULE: YOU ROLL ENOUGH SIXES YOUR GUARD KILLS A TITAN!!!!

As Requested.

>>3095795

Shit, good point.

Guess I can't get over the wires, then. The guy's gun is huge.

Ok, man, I think I can buy us some time when she gets here. Wait, you're the Indian student from right above me, aren't you?

Here's the plan. I'm gonna take my shirt off and wet myself down from that rain barrel. You see if you can find a rose in one of these pots that doesn't look too terrible, and bring up the best Bollywood love song you can find on Youtube.

We're getting out of this alive, man. Trust me.

grab a bat and hope they roll a one you faggot, also how can you tell if she's sad or not, those skull helmets are usually closed, if not shoot her in the face.

>>3095825

Go, /tg/! Get this man a rose and a Bollywood love song, NOW!

>>3095823

Game over, man. Game over.

>>3095854
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yjPuV-GmHh8&feature=related

SPLIT YOUR LUNGS WITH BLOOD AND THUNDER!
THE INQUISITION DARE DEAM YOU A HERETIC! SHOW THEM THE MEANING OF THE EMPERORS FFFFUUUURRRRYYYYY!!!

Guy in dire need of saving:

I have it on very good authority that Femeversors love tea. Even if the tea offered isn't actually tea.

Go daemonhost
they have gaul to try and kill you
Take the whole fucking planet with you

>>3095825

Roses from above!~ <3

>>3095825
I don't know about you guys, but I've got a good feeling about this plan.

This thread started out interesting, but it's slowly creeping towards bad sex writefaggotry.

Your false God has abandoned you. Offer yourself to me. Only I can save you.

Put a piece of metal over the stairwell
Bitch....you just made impassable terrian

JUMP OFF THE BUILDING ONTO THE ANGRY MARINE SCREAMING
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUCCCKKKKKK YYYOOUUUU AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS
roll 10d6's on a 60+they might see your full of enough RAGE to not kill

>>3095891

What the fuck?

Three huge guys in purple armor just landed on the roof. One of them landed on Indian Dude, and the other landed in the rose pots... the air is full of blowing rose petals.

I think I'm saved. Too bad about Indian Dude.

Shit, one of them's making a speech about my insulting imitation of their ancient, holy tactics. The other two are standing in stylized poses of shame and disgrace.

A bloody couch just rocketed out a window of the floor below me and shattered against the building across the street.

New plan, /tg/! Come on!

>>3095766
ARE YOU GOING TO FIGHT IT?
ARE YOU GOING TO PRAY TO THE DARK GODS?

>>3095943
USE THE COCAINE AND THE BICYCLE!

YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO!

>>3095943
PICK UP AN AXE AND SAY IT'S AN OLD EDITION CHOPPA, THAT'LL GET THOSE MARINE FUCKERS RUNNING!

>>3095943
Plan: Say "Hello, there. I'm Captain Jack Harkness."

>>3095348
Ask them to teach you their ways, its your only hope now man.

>>3095943
wait, exactly how many guys are on this roof? I count one guy cowering and fapping away behind the shed, yourself, three guys in purple armour, and.... no, the indian guy is definitely dead.

>>3095931
Better chances than anything else

>>3095943

Try to trick them in to attempting to style her hair, then stand well back.

>>3095964

I fell to my knees and begged forgiveness. I asked them to show me the true way.

One of them jumped off the roof to fight the guy in yellow. I think the yellow guy just broke his nose.

The other two are giving me a makeover.

I'm standing on the roof, stripped to the waist and soaking wet, flanked by two terrifying giants. Below me I can hear someone sobbing "Not the kid, kill me, don't hurt the kid," over and over.

The sun is almost down now... the blazing red in the western sky is fading to purple. The two enormous men working on my hair and nails are standing really close to me. They smell like lilacs.

I'm terrified that they're going to rape me.

I'm not having a very good day, /tg/.

>>3096015

Well, at least you can go out pretty.

>>3096015
>I'm terrified that they're going to rape me.
Let them.

Only lovin' you'll feel before you die. Besides, it might be good.

>>3096023

Fuck now you reminded me of her...

;_;

>>3096015
At least you won't die a virgin.

As a respresentative of Games Workshop and employee of Relic Entertainment, I'd like to thank you /tg/ for playtesting a scenario from the upcoming Warhammer 40,000 MMO. Your input is greatly appreciated.

>>3096035
That's what he thinks.

YOU!!!
MAN THE FUCK UP!!
YOU ARE ANONYMOUS!
No
YOU ARE A FA/tg/UY! GODDAMNIT
DON'T FORGET WHO AND WHAT YOU ARE
YOUR HANDS HAVE SLAIN COUNTLESS DRAGONS
CRAFTED THE GREATEST FORTRESSES KNOWN TO DORF KIND
THINNED THE THINKEST OF PAINTS
YOUR SAGES HAVE DESTROYED THE TROLL KINGS THEMSELVES

YOUR RAGE, UNCALCULABLE TO THE AVERAGE ANONYMOUS
A BLAZING FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUU- IN THIS GRIMDARK UNIVERSE
NOTHING CAN STAND THY WAY
TAKE UP THY AXE! UNFURL THY BEARD! LAY WASTE TO THY'N ENEMIES
YOU WILL NOT LEAVE THIS WORLD UNMARKED BY YOUR HATRED

and...bitch, you just rolled a natural 20

>>3096035
>>3096015

yep no longer virgin and you will be butthurt

>>3096068
Feels good man.

>>3096015

Fuck this, I'm outta here on that motorcycle and crack!
NA NA NA NA NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Actually, OP, you are the assassin, a Cuallidus who forgot his past. The Eversor was just here to bring you home!

>>3095879
>>3096065
I'd go with these guys
i think they know what they're doing

>>3096129
..............BEST MOVIE EVER(SOR)

>>3096129
>Cuallidus

What happened to OP?

Are we just assuming the eversor got him after his last post?

Oh well. Maybe he got raped before he died, so at least he wasn't a virgin. Something tells me that best case with Eversor-chan you don't so much have love blooming as GET TAKEN HOME.

Damnit i wanted some more rip and tear like this
>>3096065
>>3095879
oh well a gay virgin is fine too

She's coming, /tg/.

The armored fruits jumped down to the street to help the other one fight the monster in yellow armor. One of them was making a speech about beauty and regret or something, but he got cut off when the yellow guy hit him with a lamppost.

The sun is down. The lights of the city are shining gray on the underside of the clouds, and a cool breeze is blowing my hair back. It didn't used to flow in the wind like that, but the purple guys put something in it. They also trimmed my neckbeard down to a soul patch.

I smell like roses and fear. The screams on the floor below me have gone quiet. She's almost here. I've already given up looking for an escape; there's just a child's tricycle in the corner, the smashed flower pots, some broken beer bottles.

I'm clutching a rose in one hand. I can't even feel the thorns.

She's coming up the stairs. Wish me luck.

Serenade her.

Give her the rose.

Offer to be her eternal yaoi slave.

She'll spare you.

Prepare yourself for a life of gay servitude.

>>3096228
TEA, you dumb bastard, offer her TEA!

>>3096228
1. Take the tricycle
2. Attach roses to the tires,
3. Say the front tire counts as a deff rolla and get D6 S10 hits on her.
4. ???
5. Profit

>>3096272
>1. Take the tricycle.
>2. Add scythes, or at least kitchen knives, to the wheels
>3. Claim they count as scythed wheels and get d6+1 S5 hits at -2 to armour saves.
>4. ???
>5. Profit
You needed some fantasy in this thread, or da Orcs and Gobbos will crump ya.

Dammit, can't roll D6+1 in the email dice thingy

rolled 2 + 1 = 3

>>3096302
You can if you know how.

>>3096228
in doing so
you've lost the power of RAGE that resides within the neckbeard
congrats...your doomed
Roll 3d6's on a 14+ you dodge a single strike
roll for each attack

rolled 2 + 1 = 3

>>3096349
Whoops, forgot my dice.

>>3096228
well since you went the Pretty route
you have one option left
Claim your Da 'Baus
and get a Waaauugghh'n on
You better have bought that fucking powerclaw

and mega armor

I... I think it's working, guys.

She bashed the door open with the headless corpse of some guy in a bathrobe and boxer shorts. Blood was running down her skin-tight suit in rivulets, she was covered in it... as she stepped forward she left wet footprints, dark in the moonlight. She threw the broken body aside, and it smashed into the air conditioner, buckling the sheet metal inward with a screech. A little jar flew out of the bathrobe's pocket and rolled in a neat semicircle on the ground, leaving a trail of white powder.

Shivering with fear and the cold, I held the rose out toward her and asked if she would care to join me for tea.

She raised her razor claws to tear me in half, then hesitated.

She stammered something like "Stupid tertiary target B-47, it's... it's not like I came here just to kill you." Her terrifying death-mask was pushed back on her head, revealing her face. In the twilight, I can just tell she's blushing fiercely.

She's breathing fast, like a panting animal. There's a rising whine from inside her chest, and she's... sort of vibrating.

What now, /tg/? Should I... kiss her?

>>3096415
So tsundere...

>>3096415
Lean into do it but pick up a body and hold it infront of you for her to tear apart in her nervous fit.
act like your only mildly hurt after that and she'll run off embarressed

>>3096415
may as well your still dead because if she doesn't kill you she self destructs.

>She's breathing fast, like a panting animal. There's a rising whine from inside her chest, and she's... sort of vibrating.

SHE'S GONNA BLOW, GET THE FUCK OUTTTA THERE

>>3096389
Fuck, this was from when /tg/ was fucking hilarious.
I'm sad now...

>>3096454
you fucking weeabo

Loving this ... relax just a little and take a small step forward.

>>3096415
Stick your tongue in her butt.

>>3096415
Wait, is the vibrating a lust induced shiver, or she charging a crazy chest lazer?

Let's assume lust, walk forward calmly, all swave and shit, wrap one arm around her back, stare one, long, moment into her eyes, then get your mack on.

I'm serius qabout that lazer shit though, If you hear a shoop-da-woop, HIT THE GODDAMN DECK!

>>3096415
Wait, is the vibrating a lust induced shiver, or she charging a crazy chest lazer?

Let's assume lust, walk forward calmly, all swave and shit, wrap one arm around her back, stare one, long, moment into her eyes, then get your mack on.

I'm serious about that lazer shit though, If you hear a shoop-da-woop, HIT THE GODDAMN DECK!

>>3096522
At a guess, she's probably working hard to suppress the effect of her battle-drugs.

>>3095348
I declare rule 34 on that skull chick

Grab a Destructor.

Give her a painful and gruesome death.

Love your xeno good.

Oh fuck, she's about to explode, isn't she? Well, you'll never escape the blast radius no matter what you do. Might as well risk it. Look her dead in the eyes, walk slowly forward, wrap your left arm around her neck/back of head, LISTEN UP THIS IS IMPORTANT TECHNIQUE, right hand positioned horizontally across the small of her back, lean in and kiss her. Start with your lips closed, but when she relaxes you can start to suck and/or bite the lips individually for a bit before adding tongue. Of course, by this point she's probably exploded; but hey, you got to go out in style, dude.

She likes you :3

bump for great justice

There is only one way to escape this blast. As the countdown continues she'll pretty much shut down for a second because of the energy needed to start the chain reaction.

You need to grab her around the waist and give her the suplex of your fucking life off that roof. Oh, and aim for those purple guys, the yellow dude will like that.

Eversors do not have a self destruct mechanism that they can trigger at will.

They explode upon dying due to the volatile chemicals in their bloodstream going haywire.

It's a side-effect of how fucking hardcore they are.

>>3096578
Oh god you're an idiot.

>>3096522
>>3096519
TOO LATE!

>>3096614
Exactly why you need to throw her into those pretty marines, NOW! DO IT SOLDIER!

Ow.

I think she broke my collarbone.

I... stepped toward her. I was going to kiss her, but she shoved me away. I bounced off the smashed air conditioner and landed face down in the white powder. Got a nose full of it. My face is going numb.

I think she's crying.

"Get away from me. Stupid. It's not safe."

The whine is getting really loud. I'm starting to feel... damn, it's like I've been asleep my whole life and I'm awake for the first time. Everything's so bright.

The lights of the city are shining on her tears, on the blood dripping from her claws. She's shaking like a leaf.

There's a tricycle in the corner.

>>3096613
The only escape it to
MARRIINNEE dive your way out of there
makes you invunerable to explosions as well as tripling the Blast template due to the entire building being filled with propane tanks

>>3096693
SHOVE YOUR FACE IN WHITE STUFF, TAKE A FEW DEEP BREATHS, GET ON THE TRICYCLE, AND RIDE OF OFF THE ROOF.

>>3096693
TAKE THE TRICYCLE AND BASH HER SKULL IN! BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!

>>3096706
>The birth of Doomrider

>>3096693
So kiss her goodbye?

>>3096693
NOW YOU FOOL
THE DRUGS FROM THE CONTACT ARE LIKE COCAINE
GET THE FUCK ON THAT TRICYCLE AND
NANANANANNAANNANANA

>>3096693

Try a hug.

Tell her you don't care if it's safe or not, you're willing to take the risk for her.

>>3096735
>>3096739
YES
YOU HAVE NOW BECOME THE NEW DOOMRIDER!
AND YOU NOW HAVE YOUR DOOMBITCH!
NOW RIDE, NEW KING OF PARTIES
RIDE!

Bump for great justice

>>3096754
somebody make a model of that or i will

>>3096735
>>3096739
>>3096754
>>3096731
>>3096706
Alas and let it be chronicaled
This here be the birth of the master of parties

>>3096706
Pic related?

>>3096771
Yes
a flying Doomrider with a hot eversor bitch on the back
Hell yeah

>>3096747

QFT

>>3096795
need a doomrider model, an eversor model, and what should i use for face/tits

>>3096804
Flying base, a drill for the bottom of the bike
Doomrider model, Everser model, greenshit (for face and tits/hell basicly gonna have to remodel the eversor or just make it from something else)
and white cotten for a trail of coke for everywhere he goes

I'm not afraid anymore. I'm not cold, or in pain, or uncertain.

I shove my face in the pile of white powder and breathe deep. Then I scramble into the corner and grab the tricycle.

She's thrown her head back, and she's wailing at the sky. Her howl rises in time with the whine in her chest.

I run to her, tricycle in one hand, and wrap an arm around her waist. She trembles and shakes in my grasp, but I plant my lips on hers and kiss her, deeply. Her lips are soft, her teeth are sharp, and she tastes like blood and acid, like death and freedom.

I release her and grab the rose from the ground where I dropped it. She falls to her knees, screaming. I grip it in my teeth and begin running toward the edge of the roof. I throw the tricycle down before me, then jump on it, one foot on the seat, one on the handlebars. Arms out for balance, I'm speeding toward the void, the open air.

Behind me, her scream cuts off. I clear the edge as heat and sound slam into my back, propelling me out and up. I bellow a meaningless cry of defiance and loss, "NANANANANANANAAAAAA!"

The landing will kill me. But for these few seconds, I'm flying, I'm immortal. I'm a golden god.

***NANANANANANA, THAT'S ALL, FOLKS!***
~Leibowitz

>>3096826

SLAANESH CLAIMS HIS SOUL IN THE WARP

AND THUS, DOOMRIDER IS BORN!

>>3096826
...why do I feel like he might as well have used a Bel-Air?

>>3096826
FUCKING LEIBOWITZ

NICE, thx for teh story!

>>3096820
You could probably cannibalize a torso from an Eldar Banshee and take a head from a Dark Eldar Wych... but I don't think you'll actually go through with it.

So is this the reason for the long-standing feud between Femeversor and Doomrider?

And by longstanding I mean spawning exactly one image where Doom Rider disappeared before entering a duel with her due to rolling a one.

>>3096877
once i get some money after the holidays im making it i don't care if it cost me 100 usd+

>>3096826
fuckwin
>>3096739
>>3096706
>>3096754
thanks for turning the thread from meh to awesome

AND THUS IS THE BIRTH OF DOOMRIDER

>>3096867

Did I disappoint you? Hey, I'm open to suggestions. That's sorta what this thread was for.

>>3096845

Didn't intend to write the birth of Doomrider, but, hey, sure. Slaanesh takes him in his moment of perfect exultation, as he rides the wave of drugs, pain, new love, and destruction. He spends the rest of existence as the incarnation of that moment, searching for his lost love, the only being as suffused with drugs as he, Femeversor.

Thanks for your request.
It has been added to our database and the thread will be archived as soon as enough request for that thread have been made.
This thread has been requested 1 times now.

>>3096906
A little. But hey, it was still awesome writing.

Grade A material all the same.

Btw, did this have another ending or were you just planning on going with it and picking up an idea or two for the ending?

>>3096873

It was me the whole time! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

>>3096826

This ending was hilarious, twisted, glorious, and stupid.

In my own personal canon, this is the birth of Doomrider, all right.

the model will be a doomrider model with the eversor

she will be the bottom of a eversor, the top of a eldar banshee, and the head of a SOB (or whatever else i can find that looks good

eversor lady exploded ;_;

>>3096906
>He spends the rest of existence as the incarnation of that moment, searching for his lost love, the only being as suffused with drugs as he, Femeversor
EPIC

>>3096739
>>3096754
shit
my samefagging actually turned out well

>>3096932

Well, here's the thing. In my Dark Heresy game last night, our Arbiter had the best luck on dice I've ever fucking seen. Like, Probability's girlfriend Statistics called and bitched at him for staying to late, so Prob had to leave at about 9:00, and we rolled under 30 for the rest of the night. Isen went through a heavily fortified compound like a fucking eversor, and I'm thinking, "damn, I'd hate to be one of the random people in that compound right now."

So I start a thread, with no idea where it's headed. /tg/ makes it retarded/awesome.

someone just put it up
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html

>>3096897
POST THIS PICTURE

>>3096969
Huh. Well, it is my wish to see more of your writing in the future.

Like I said before, awesome.

>>3097003

I'll be around, probably gonna keep writing up my DH game every few sessions.

Still not sure whether I should get my character's adoptive daughter mindcleansed, but he's been making progress. She doesn't scream when he comes close any more. She still hides from everyone else, though.

>>3096826
>>3096845
>>3096795

Need drawfag nao.

>>3097068
seconded

BUT WHY WAS EVERSOR???

>>3097147
BECAUSE

>>3097147
>>3097194

Who here thinks the Officio Assassinatorum rocked the wrong building?

MAKE A COKE PENTAGRAM ON THE FLOOR AND FAP INTO THE CENTER!

This will summon Doomrider. When he bursts through the portal distract him with more coke, and then steal his bike.

>>3097209

Nah, the GM rolled "eversor" on the random encounter table.

>>3097209

The Femeversor was stalking the narrator. She couldn't get up the nerve to ask him out, so she murdered a hundred people instead.

>>3097327
What a coincidence, that's how I met my ex. If those poor bastards had wanted to live, they wouldn't have been volunteering at a nursing home.