shoot her

>>1299989

I agree, murder seems like the only viable solution

Get your driver's licence. Next time, steal the car.

Your mom sounds a lot like my mom. Does she try to pick fights a lot? Does she have a persecution complex?

>>1300033
All mothers have persecution complexes.

awwwwwwwwwwwwrrrrrrrright

lemme try something

>>1300000

>>1300041

My mom doesn't.

>>1300061
She does, she just doesn't show it.

i < you mom i dont care what anyone else says

>>1300085

Your mom seems to have a smiley face on her chest.

She might want to get that looked at.

Nigger please, I use photoshop.

>>1300240
judging from the quality of the text and the layered look, so did OP

>>1300240
OH FUCK, YOUR MOMS A BITCH FOR NOT COOKING YOUR FOOD THE WAY YOU WANTED IT.

>>1300974

She was, bitch ruined good meat all the time.

Life became easier after she 'fell down the stairs' if you catch my drift.

Rather than depressing myself by drawing all the bad times over the years I just drew where we're at now.

Also, you guys have some pretty pathetic problems.

>>1301094
if your mother is black, why draw yourself white?

>>1301115
Self-hate / mother-hate / BAWWW

>>1301115
i didn't draw myself white, i only coloured her skin to illustrate that she's black. our clothes aren't white either

>>1300283
>Software used: Adobe Photoshop CS3 Macintosh

i would sure hate to be you dudes!

mute sheep cant countercancer you

>>1301126

So you're mulatto or just lazy?

i did my dad too, just for fun. this is therapeutic for some reason

>>1301211
so what you're saying is that you were chilling in the bathroom while your moms tits were hanging out and your dad is a bathtub

>>1301233
both, i did try to do my skin colour but it was too tricky

>>1301241
I really liek your Dad and believe you now

>>1301233
I don't see how they're mutually exclusive.

>>1301242
yea i was washing my hands..and then she came up with that question and then dad was all like im not even alive im a bathtub....after all what i wanted to say is im going to smoke some weed with my mom soon

and now my sister, had no idea what angle to pitch this but eventually decided on this

hey i made one about most of your moms

>>1301291
STOP LOOKING AT 4CHAN, MOM, JESUS CHRIST

and here i am with my friends

>>1301291
Hey! Good going!

>>1301291
oh lawrd, nerve hit.

>>1301291
Mom!? What the hell are you doing here? Can't you just leave me alone?

>>1301291

This reminds me of that one copypasta about how everyone of 4chan is exactly the fucking same.

>>1301372
I remember that.

It didn't quite describe me.

>>1301372
That copypasta was bullshit.

>>1301406
>>1301408

Well, most of it described me.

It's always a fucking party when I talk to my mom.

I love this thread so much it's hard to describe in English.

this is my mother.
she doesn't listen.

>>1299961
4chonarchive?
Thanks for your request.
It has been added to our database and the thread will be archived as soon as enough request for that thread have been made.
This thread has been requested 1 times now.

>>1301558
hahaha i get this from my mom too, but it's sweet because at least she's trying to help

Yeah. I play fighting games with my mom.
Just in case so nobody asks, the game is King of fighters Maximum Impact.

>>1301704
are you normally covered in feces?

>>1301558
The face she's making looks familiar.

My mother still doesn't realize it isn't 1969

hey mom why won't you ever answer me anymore :(

>>1301935
Your mom is the shit I bet she really levitates like that

>>1301935
Holy fuck your mother sounds exactly like mine.

We're all mommas boys.

>>1301935
My mom is getting "certified" for some sort of mystical healing shit that she can charge out the ass for.

My mom fails at computers.

>>1302124
I wish blue screens really said that in exactly those words.

My Mom kicked me out of the house for no reason. I am now in a dorm and we don't speak. :)

every night growing up.

when i was little i just thought my mom really hated the nighttime.

I hate her sooo much. You don't even know.

My mom rocks. :D

I was busy browsing 4chan, okay? Fuck you.

I'm not bitter or anything. In fact I'd sympathise with her more if she wasn't such a horrendously manipulative bitch.

>>1302107
That's what my mom does for a living.

She makes good money, but it pisses me off that every time I try to talk to her she just yammers on about universal energy and soul-mates and "divine life purpose." It gets really fucking tiresome.

>>1302321
Oh it's ALL right, I UNDERSTAND Honey, I had a hard day too when I spent 12 hours popping you out of my vagina

>>1302001
weird, my mom is like this too

*sighs* I miss my mom

>>1302370
Holy shit, you grew to be twice as tall as your mother?

>>1302338

What sense does that even make? Like my feelings would be more justified if I came home and said, "I hammered a couple of nails through my dick, I guess we're even for that whole 'birth' thing, eh?"

>>1302370
me too man :(

>>1302391
it was a joke, I don't think even the moms think it makes fucking sense

i fuckin cried painting this

Just wanted to say that I fail at posting... Anyway:

This computer is becoming who I am, and I guess she doesn't like that.

Yeah, this is mine. Pretty boring, but I was bored...

Funny 'cause it's true.

>>1302443
Do you have scoliosis or something?

>>1302453
hahahahahaahaha
DIE DIE DIE I love it

>>1302468
It's not quite as funny in reality, I don't know, kinda makes you feel pretty death and empty inside when you have to visit your mother like that. I sympathize with >>1302424 alcohol is the cause of all this shit.

>>1302165
that one's mine

>>1302466
No, I just stand awesomely.

>>1302321
I punched my mother when I was eight and she tried to give me a guilt trip. She's never tried it again.

I'm also schizophrenic, but I don't know if that has anything to do with it.

My mom was a good mother to me and we get along well, but dammit that woman just never quits nagging me to come visit her.

>>1303065
Aww Anon she just misses you, obviously.

>>1303065

do not feel too badly

what she wants back you cannot grant

except maybe by popping out grandkids

>>1303117

Hey, I know. And I miss her too, it's just that 1200 miles is a long fucking way to go, and I just don't have the time. I make the trip about twice a year, but Christmas is virtually impossible.

>>1303125

The word "grandkids" makes me shudder terribly. I leave that responsibility to my brother!

god what is her PROBLEM the other day she was all like "maybe you should get some excersise instead of sitting in front of the computer" DOESN'T SHE KNOW I AM COOL DUDE ON INTERNETS

>>1303159
Are... Are you me? I mean, it's okay if you are.

I thought drawing this would make me less depressed
I was wrong

>>1303253

Well, I do have a goatee... But I am certain that I've never worn pink in my life. Sorry!

I wish I could say that this story was just made up. ;_;

My mom is fucking awesome.

This honestly happened

>>1303422
sounds like something out of a bad tv series

>>1303398
Sure, her gambling makes you sad now, but you won't feel so bad once she hits the jackpot.

>>1303460

She did.

She played it all back.

>>1303483
Thats what you get for not rolling with her.

Grow some fucking balls, you accident.

>>1303502

ohnoyouledidn't.jpg

>>1303422
I laughed a little at your post

>>1303422

Oh, WOW. It's normal for mothers to be protective, but your mom has a weird way of going about it. Great story!

>>1303422
For this post, the whole thread must be archived.

After having stage 4 cancer for years it spread to her brain. GG radiation.

Sometimes i feel like a babysitter. Then i get drunk myself to alleviate this shit.

We never should've moved from Canada...

>>1303856
I've never felt so apathetic!

Some girls rebelled by becoming gothic pseudo-pagans; I became a catholic.

>>1303998
hey, my mom's scared of witches and hates catholics cos she's a fundy. wanna get married? i'll get baptised into the holy mother church, it'll be sweet.

>>1302321
Man, the thread should have ended there.

I'm only the second request for archival? I thought this thread would have been more popular. You should all post stories, not just the epitome of her personality. MOAR!

>>1303398
Punch that bitch.

>>1301558
best one so far
muteblock

I love her, too.

>>1303856
>>1303856
>>1303856
I teared up. I wish I could make you feel better.

Just a small sampling. I at least know she means well, she can't make up her fucking mind whether to kick me in the ass to get me going or just keep me grounded because she gets ronery easily.

Maybe next time we could MS Paint our dads, I'd have something along the lines of him with the caption "NO"

:(

Your mother is a pretentious faggot.

Newsflash: IT'S GENETIC!

Congratulations!

>>1301704

I thought my mom and I were the only ones... we used to play soul calibur II all the time. i would beat her all the time. I remember, at one particular time, that she called me a brute for beating her. I think that was right before we stopped playing video games and she stopped trying to be interested in what I'm interested in.

>>1305142

Your forced meme isn't funny.

According to my mom, I fail at life.

Yeah, I know my mom is awesome.

>>1305348
Your mother is right, real women stay in the kitchen AND DO WHAT THEY ARE TOLD.

Wear sunblock or your mom will beat you.

Man... she's such a fucking bitch.

Let me watch my vagtastic voyage.

>>1305460
This made me feel a lot better.

Thanks pretentious faggot.

my mom is generally awesome though

>>1305547
Your father didn't happen to videotape your mom beating the shit out of you, did he?

>>1305680
This made me laugh, cause I bet this is a lot of what 4chan is.

youd think shed know what color the stuff was after having 2 kids

She's okay, really. Just so, so repressed.

>>1302370


*Cries*

>>1305680
mmm let me rub some KY jelly over those hairy man tis of yours.